Having a partner to go through life with can make us feel complete, but that doesn’t mean the relationship will last forever. Divorce is a very final and drastic step, so sometimes separation is an option to determine if both parties want to divorce. So, is it time to consider a separation from your spouse? Here are a few signs to look for.
Avoiding your spouse
If you’re avoiding your spouse and trying not to see them on a daily basis, then it’s a pretty solid sign the relationship is coming to an end, and it may be time for a separation. Typically, people avoid their spouse for one of two reasons: they cannot be bothered to fix the problem(s) they’re experiencing, or they’re afraid for their wellbeing if they confront their spouse and the issue. It’s important that if you’re being abused or you’re worried about potential abuse, you should always put your wellbeing first and remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible.
You’ve given it your all
You’ve sincerely tried with your spouse: you put in the effort, suggested—or even set up—counselling and had all the hard conversations you need to have. But yet, nothing has ever come from it, and nothing has changed. This could be a sign that the relationship has dissolved, so you need to decide if you can live with things the way they are or if it’s time to end the relationship and separate.
You’re staying for the kids
If you have children with your current partner, it’s very easy to think that you need to stay together for the children to avoid disrupting their lives. Your kids are a priority in your life, which is understandable, but you deserve to have a partner and not just someone who co-parents with you.
If you separate, it will definitely affect your children, but they will be happier living with parents who are not constantly fighting or ignoring each other in the long term. If you think you’re hiding your marital problems from your kids, you probably aren’t – kids are surprisingly aware of what is going on with their parents, so they likely already know things aren’t okay.
It’s cheaper to stay
Divorce can be expensive – especially if it isn’t amicable and it drags on – but staying because you think it’s cheaper, and you’d rather not spend the money to live in separate households isn’t ideal. Of course, you need to examine your expenses; however, if this is the only reason you’re staying, then it might be time to consider getting your finances in order and start the process of separating.
You’ve mentally moved on
Are you thinking about all of the things you will be doing once you’re on your own? This means you’ve already emotionally checked out of your relationship, and you’re basically done putting in the effort. While you haven’t consciously said you’re done with your relationship, this kind of thinking is a sign that you’re emotionally uninvested and you’re working on moving on with your life.
Contact Marcy Segal today
Separating from your spouse is never going to be easy: it’s emotionally trying for both people involved. However, not all relationships are going to last forever and ending it is sometimes a matter of protecting your own wellbeing – no matter how long you’ve been together.
If you have decided to move on, it’s in your best interest to get professional advice from a family lawyer. Contact Marcy Segal today to schedule a consultation.